Life Balance Is Bullsh*t!

In order to help someone with their life you have to exam your own. This happened for me when I become a certified Life Empowerment Coach in 2017. I loved my certification journey because I discovered areas of my life that I had left unattended for far to long. Shortly after receiving my certification, I wrote my first work related book, Finding Life Balance.

Writing the book help me learn things about myself and how I navigate through difficult situations. As my first work related piece, I titled it based on buzz word theory and marketing material I read. Since its publication, my life has continued to be redefined by choices and circumstances, so much so that I want to rewrite the book and title it "Balance Is Bullshit."

This wanting to change the title stems from the circulating thought in my head that balance means all things are equal or even Steven. I even wrote an article titled Balance of Business and Babies last year so it must be something I really need to do because it won't stop bugging me. The more I cycle through that thought the more I realize that life balance is not possible. Everything in your life is squeezed into hours that don't involve work and sleep. Think about it. You give a job eight hours and you get a good nights sleep, what's left are hours you try to fill with family, fun, and anything else you find pleasurable. Where is the balance in that? I know I'm being literal but that doesn't make it any less true.

I use my own life as working hypothesis for my bullshit theory. As an entrepreneur who has been married for over fifteen years and has a twelve year old, my life is a constant flow of juggling and propping things up. My WIP, Maintaining SANITY, is not about life balance but I share the challenges of life while my husband and I ran our restaurants together. I share truths of the toll being in business together took on business, our family, ourselves and even our sex life.

This WIP lead to another WIP titled Raising A CKO (Chief Kid Officer). My daughter has been on this journey with us so much so we gave her her first paid job when she was nine. Since then, she has been with me every time I step into something new. She began her entrepreneurial journey at nine as a cashier. She became the CKO at ten. That led to her learning about investing in the stock market and creating her own stock portfolio. She also co-authored her first book with me at nine and later wrote her own book. When I began speaking at high school in Los Angeles, she soon followed suit. All of this happened before she turned twelve.

Being able to make all this happen and remain happily married with a semi well adjusted child did not happen through life balance. Life balance to me are wasted words that have created the new flavor of the day self-care. If you think work/life balance is really a thing more power to you. I choose to live my life based on the ebbs and flow of my growth and that of my family. I choose to be at peace with my decisions and live a life that suits me and the ones I love.

I thrive in my unbalanced life. I find excitement when I get the occasional curve ball. I bask in the uniqueness that today won't be like any other day. I live not only to prop myself up but to prop up others. My juggling days sometimes have more balls than I can handle and I drop them all. Where is the challenge in everything being even Steven?

Phyllis Williams-Strawder is the author of That Damn Girl Stuff: A Mother's Truth and Far From the Tree.

Phyllis is also the publisher of SPICE: The Variety of Life written by her husband Neil and Morgan Mischief written by her daughter Morgan.

Phyllis has been writing since she was a teen. Her favorite thing to write back then was poetry. A family friend who was in the music industry wanted to turn one of her poems into a song but she never pursued it. Her debut book, Morgan Mischief, was written with her daughter who was nine years old at the time.

Phyllis is a successful entrepreneur who now focuses on helping teens start businesses based on their gifts and talents. She holds a degree in finance and is a Certified Life Coach. She is an alum of Goldman Sachs 10K Small Business Executive Program, and Leadership Long Beach Institute. She is a former member of the Long Beach City College Culinary Advisory Board and a certified KCBS BBQ judge.

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